I remember reading a funny anecdote before that kids are like dogs when they’re still babies up to the preteen stage: cuddly, needy, attention seeker, affectionate and playful; then during the teenage years they become cats: moody, sense of entitlement is too damn high, won’t even look at you when you call them and would sleep all day; and then when they hit adulthood they become dogs again.
When I was a kid, I always make my own card for every occasion for my parents but when I hit adolescent I stopped doing that and like most teenagers, became distant and kind of disconnected from them especially my Mom. I have to admit that I’ve always been very close to my Mom but there were times that I would really question her upbringing but like they say mothers know best.
The first few months of my independence was a bliss – no nagging, no irritating inquisitions and no one to tell me to wash the dishes or to clean my room. After that couple of months, I started missing my Mom’s cooking and basically her caring. I missed her terribly and I would sometimes like “see” her in a crowd or anywhere. I then decided to have her accompany me here in the big city and after a few years, we kind of migrated here in Manila (we’re originally from Bacolod).
Our relationship has changed tremendously compared to what we had during my teenage years. When I was a teenager, yes there were a lot of fights and we would often clash and would not speak to each other for months but during a truce, we talked and laughed and would bond regularly. Now, I may not share about personal things to her as much as she wanted me to but she knows that I’ve become this emotionally independent adult yet still her needy child. 🙂
I thought that it’s how I compartmentalize, I separate my work, personal, and domestic life. I am a different person when I’m at work, when I’m with my friends and when I’m with my family, that’s how I become after surviving adolescence. And my Mom respected that and I’m grateful for it. She would ask me from time to time if I’m okay or if I’m going through something at work and I would always answer none and she will respect that. No more prying. No more digging into. She knows if I’m going through something but she will respect if I won’t share, it’s her way of letting me know that she knows and that she also knows that I can handle it and that if ever I can’t that she’s there, always…to listen and help. It’s a mutual understanding and respect we have developed through the years.
Going back to the reason I asked her to move out here with me in Manila was selfish but deep down inside, I wanted her to be with me because I want to spoil her. It’s my way of giving back and making sure that she’s okay. I wanted to experience new things and go to new places with her. Her happiness is my happiness thus I always treat her or surprise her.
I remember when I asked her that we’re going to Baguio City (one of her dream destinations) the night before our departure as my birthday gift for her. She thought I was joking but when she realized that I was not, her reaction was epic. It was one of the best surprises I gave her.
Another surprise was when I told her that we are attending an office mate’s birthday party. I asked her to dress nicely and to go to my office. We were then picked up by my co-worker and went to an excursion to Eat Bulaga! (the longest and most popular noontime show) – she was able to take pictures with some of the hosts and even had a chance of getting hugged by Alden Richards. Hahah! Another surprise I like was when I bought her a smartphone. I gave it to her as a Christmas gift and her excitement was priceless. Finally she can play Candy Crush and can access Facebook which she always wanted to do.
These little surprises are nothing compared to the sacrifices she made for us and to the heartaches I gave her. And I would never be able to repay her love for me and my siblings, there’s just no amount nor value to what she gave us. It’s the least I can do to somehow show her how much I love her.
My siblings and I may not be as expressive as were but she knows how much we love her.
One thing I am very thankful for having her as my mother is that she was never disappointed in us. No matter how much failure we thought we had she was never disappointed. She was always proud of us.
Happy Mother’s Day Mama!!